So it's been awhile since I last wrote anything. Like 3 months almost to the day. I love Austin and life here and the people here and the church I've found. Today is 90 days at my job and I was given the day off to relax. I don't know if relaxing is something that I'm really able to comprehend right now. There has been so much that's been going on in my life in the past week and a half it has just turned me to an emotional wreck, which isn't normal. I don't cry, but I have been and I'm ok with it. This morning I thought I would go for a run out at Town Lake to just release all frustrations and emotions...I didn't make it very far. I made it about a mile to a little sitting area on the Zilker park side that faces downtown. I sat down and thought oh I will sit here for a few minutes...a few minutes turned into 20. I just sat and overlooked downtown and just let my emotions go. Of all songs that came on I just listened to Ray Lamontagne's words in his song "Be Here Now". Who would think Ray Lamontagne would have words of wisdom for me today...not me. I posted the lyrics below. It's what I need to know today...I can't continue to let myself get more and more weary.
Don't let your mind get weary and confused
Your will be still, don't try
Don't let your heart get heavy child
Inside you there's a strength that lies
Don't let your soul get lonely child
It's only time, it will go by
Don't look for love in faces, places
It's in you, that's where you'll find kindness
Be here now, here now
Be here now, here now
Don't lose your faith in me
And I will try not to lose faith in you
Don't put your trust in walls
'Cause walls will only crush you when they fall
Be here now, here now
Be here now, here now
1 comment:
I didn't get too teary eyed yesterday morning, but now? I am. Those words are perfect. My heart is heavy & it doesn't have to be! That's a blessing we share. Letting go is oh so hard. Stuff, people. Most of it is only materialistic & shouldn't matter. Hanging on is a human reaction to what we THINK is safe. Steps of faith are hard, but trust in God, not your (my) logic. I love you. No matter how far apart we are I can rest assured that you DO have friends who will listen when I can't. You are stronger than you know. xoxoxo's, Mum
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